sex, teens, & tv … 03.08.09

According to a report from the BBC news, recent studies suggest that teens are more likely to engage in sexual intercourse the more exposed they are to TV programs that contain sexually suggestive scenes. Duh! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that  you become a product of your environment. It is very difficult to feed yourself a steady diet of these types of viewings and not have it affect you.

Does it need a study to determine this? They could have given the money to me used for the study and I would have told them that. I would have also been able to pull together a group of adults and teens who could attest to that. Hello

The article states that the researchers interviewed 2,000 adolescents aged 12 to 17 three times between 2001 and 2004. It found that teens who watched larger amounts of sexually charged TV shows were twice as likely to experience a pregnancy in the subsequent three years, compared with those with lower levels of exposure.

Teenage girls who watch a lot of TV shows with a high sexual content are twice as likely to become pregnant, according to a study.

Those of us who have been making these claims for years were marginalized and seen as right wing fundamentalists wackos. What do we know. What evidence do we have for such claims? Granted, I do look at studies and do reference them. I embrace the scientific findings. However this I do with balance.

The wisest man that ever lived outside of Jesus, is Solomon. This is what he said hundreds of years ago – “Guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life”

The eye-gate is one of the main ways by which ones heart becomes corrupt. Images that are captured on the video wall of our mind will inevitably play over and over again. When we take time to reflect upon these images that has now produced thoughts of one kind or another, we must do something with the thought. Imagine a teen whose hormones are raging. What do you think their thoughts might be? Given the right situation, place, time, and person, the chance is they are going to act on these impulses.

Why then should these findings surprise us? For me, it only confirms what I’ve held to for a long time. And I must add this goes for music as well.

When will they do a study on music and its impact on teens sexuality, violence, and rebellion?

be deaf to succeed … 03.05.09

Sometimes in life if you ever plan to succeed and make it to the top, whatever the top is for you, you need to become deaf to the voices of pessimism and negativism.

There are so many people who will tell you why you can’t achieve that which you have set your mind to. They will point out all the reasons why you can’t. By becoming “deaf” or practicing selective hearing during these times, is the antidote for success. Make up your mind today to not listen to the doubters or haters!

Learn a lesson from a frog.

click here

“Sexting” the new porn? … 012309

As we have heard time and time again, it is not the technology that is the issue but the users of these technologies. Some people would read this article and fault the manufacturers for how the phone is being used. They would try to insist that there be some kind of child protection be placed on  cell phones to keep  teens from using them in this way. This is the kind of society we are living in, where its easier to place blame on “others” rather than teaching or insisting that people take responsibility for their own actions.

I know the above sounds like ranting or going off on a tangent however it might not be as far fetched as you would think. Look at the gun industry. The gun makers are blamed for much of what happens with guns. The car industry is blamed for the harm that may occur in accidents hence the need to make changes.

When all this happens, it only drives up the cost of these products.

As it is with any other products parents have a responsibility of teaching and helping their teens make good decisions. I know that as a parent you can do all you can and yet some teens will make bad decisions. However, you as a parent won’t have to live with the guilt because you did all you could to help your child with the decision making process. Let the teens bear whatever the consequences are for their  decision.

Now that I have ranted, let me get back to the topic at hand. These teens who are involved in using their phones for taking videos and pictures of themselves in the nude then sending them by text to their friends are involved in porn. Yes it is teens doing what teens do – doing things without thinking about consequences. But these are the very things people are being charged for – peddling in child porn. This should be made clear to these teens in addition to pointing out the dangers.

This could lead to an acceptance and normalizing of this practice where these same teens as they get older may take this a step farther.  Could this  just be the beginning?

These are just some of my thoughts. What do you think?

virginity on sale … 011909

Going once. Going twice. Going three times. Do I see a hand. Oh, I see a hand for three million dollars. Four million dollars. What about four million dollars. Going once going twice going …

In case you are wondering what it is I’m talking about, then let me update you – the story of Beauty & no brains.

Natalie Dylan (may not be her real name), 22, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks. She claims her offer of a one-night stand has persuaded 10,000 men to bid for sex with her. She better be worth it for whoever is the highest bidder. According to the Telegraph, she has received offers up to the ridiculous amount of approximately $3,000,000.

The ironic thing is that she is doing this to pay for as she alleges, her pursuing a Masters Degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. Is she kidding? A Marriage & Family Therapist!

Her mentor is her 23 year old sister who prostituted herself for 3 weeks to pay for her schooling. Is this a family of prostitutes? Wow, what mentoring.

She already have a degree in Women’s Studies and insists she was not demeaning herself by doing this. This is just a means to an end. In her mind the end justifies the means. Hmmh! She also has made it clear that this is a one-night stand. She does not want a relationship with that person whoever it happens to be. Does she think that she will ever forget that person? She will be leaving a part of her with a total stranger, never to be recovered. By the way, would someone tell me what Women’s Studies is? Is there anything within this area of study that addresses the issue of what it means to be a woman of character and integrity? What about self-esteem?

While she is trying to give her virginity away, there are other women who are trying to regain theirs. According to the Tribune, Muslim women are paying up to $3000.00 to have their hymen repaired. They know the value of being a virgin. This surgery is known as a “hymenoplasty,” a restoration of the hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.

A 23 y/o Muslim student who was having her hymen restored made the following statement:

“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt. Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”

Wow. I wonder what counsel would Natalie as a Marriage & Family Therapist give to this woman or others like her who may present with such struggles.

The irony: one wants to lose it while another wants to regain it!

What Natalie doesn’t seem to be taking in consideration is that she is more than just a physical being. The one-night affair – prostitution, will affect her emotionally, spiritually, mentally and socially. She will forever be known as the girl who sold her virginity. Her reputation will precede her.

Thought: “Who would one day want to become her husband?” I guess there are people who would just for the possibility of a few minutes of fame or infamy. Would you?

Hero! Miracle! Expert! … 011609

These are just a few of the words that are being used to describe the crash landing of the US Airways airline on Thursday Jan. 15, 2009. The estimated flight lasted a mere three minutes or so. The coverage have been wall to wall on almost all the stations understandable so. Not everyday does a plane crash lands and all the passengers are able to leave the plane with no major injuries or fatalities.

In the past we have heard such phrases like “where was God in all of this” when something tragic happens. Why aren’t we hearing phrases such as “this is a miracle of God”. Many people blame God for the bad things but they never give him credit for the good things. Why?

We did hear brief statements of people who said that they prayed and heard others praying as the plane was going down. I guess there are no atheist at times like these.

I do believe the captain of the plane ought to be credited for his heroic act no question about it. I also believe the crew and the quick response of the ferry boat captains ought to be heralded as heroism as well. They all did a fabulous job. Kudos to them all.

But for me, I choose to believe that God gave us one more thing to recognize his goodness, mercy, and grace. This is a Sovereign act to remind us that indeed he is still in control. Was this as a response to the prayers of desperate people?

how do you cope? … 010309

As a parent of a 16 y/o I cannot begin to imagine what the Travolta’s are going through with the death of their son Jett Travolta. According to preliminary reports, Jett fell in the bathroom and hit his head against the tub which led to his death.

Every parent watches the growth process of their children and have certain dreams for them as they move from one stage of life to another. Once they get into that magical age of teenage-hood the changes begin to take place in rapid succession. The relationship between parent and child begins to change. You can now have more adult-type conversations. There is a sense of wondering as to what this person may one day become. You see patterns developing which even more solidifies your dreams for your teen.

All of this come to a crashing halt / end when a tragedy like this occurs. How do you recover? Is it possible?

The Travolta’s are now dealing with this. But I’m sure they are not the only one who have lost a teenage son or daughter. However a high profile death like this does bring these discussion to the public square.

How do you cope with tragedies like this? How will the Travolta’s cope? How have you coped with your loss? Loss is loss. However, no parent ever think of burying their children especially this young. Most parents believe that they will be buried by their children.

All losses are painful. As one who have experienced the loss of a younger sister, I know. However, I know it is more painful from a parents perspective. I found that I was only able to cope by relying heavily on the comfort of God through his Holy Spirit. That is where we as a family drew our strength. I don’t know how else can it be possible.

Here is the words of a father who lost his 20 y/o son to melanoma. He quoted from Dean Koontz’a “The Darkest Evening of the Year”.

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.”

Merry Christmas … 122508

I would like to take this time to wish all my readers a Very Merry Christmas. As a Christian I celebrate this time of year as a very special time since it is the designated day that is set aside to celebrate the birth of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I know there are discrepancies as to the exact date of his birth, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that he was born into this world as a human being.  So many people today celebrate their birthdays on the “wrong” day.

My mom tells me that I was born on February 28th.  She should know because she is the one who gave me birth.  However, on my birth certificate, it says February 27th.  It was recorded wrong.  This I found out years later.  I now celebrate on the 27th.  My point: I was born into this world on a certain date and time.  My closest families and friends celebrate my birthday on February 27th now.

With that said, I want you to remember that JESUS is the REASON for the Season.  Without his birth you would not be receiving and giving gifts at this time of year.  If you are a retailer, you would not be targeting consumers with all the enticements because you know that people seem to be more generous at this time of year.  Why?  The SPIRIT of the season – Giving.  (See John 3:16)

I do hope you will open your heart to receive the greatest GIFT of all this Christmas – JESUS!   He makes the difference. What better time to do that than now when the world is being turned upside down.  He is your peace during this time.  What better gift to have than the PEACE of God!

I am alive today because of HIM.  He brought me through quadruple bypass surgery on Dec. 8th, 2008.  I am alive and healing well because of him.  That was my gift for Christmas, but it first began with HIM – the GIFT!

Every scar has a story behind it …. 122108

I have been looking at my scars each and every day; I can’t help but see them. As I look at each of them, they all have a slightly different story, yet being part of an overall story. I have several scars. Two on my left hand and foot from which they harvested the arteries they needed for the bypass surgery. I have a long one in the middle of my chest where they opened me up. I do have other small ones that came from IV’s, shots, and blood withdrawal.

(Sidebar: the two pictures to the side are just 2 of the scars that I bear. The chest and the hand. The skin discoloration is just the black & blue marks from shots and / or where the artery was harvested.)

As I look at these scars, I think about so many people, possibly including you, who have their own scars. I can see my scars and I know it was for my own good. They are lfe saving. However, so many people have scars that cannot be seen. They are not physical as mine. They could be emotional, mental, social, spiritual, and even intellectual. The mental and the emotional are the two most prevalent I believe.

Many of these scars that some people have are as a result of being taken advantage of either through abuse or other forms of violation. My scar may be there forever but will be totally healed. There won’t be anymore pain associated with it. Only the visual reminder. On the other hand others have painful scars that will be with them forever.

I am reminded that over two thousand years ago someone voluntarily bore his scars and still does, not because anyone took advantage of him, or abused him, but because of his love for us he was crucified. His scars are scars of love – in his hands, feet, and side. Wow! His name -JESUS!

As a result of what he did, all of us can have our sins forgiven and receive eternal life. Just ask him. No sins are bigger than his scars. Thanks be unto God for such love.

I am possibly alive today because of these scars. I do know that if I didn’t choose to go the path of the scar, I may have lost my life much sooner than I had in mind. These scars has brought me more years of life. Jesus’ scars brings ETERNAL LIFE.

Heart surgery update … 121308

Just to let you all know that I appreciated all the prayers that went up on my behalf. I was released from the hospital yesterday after having quadruple bypass surgery on Monday. Went in thinking it would be triple but turned out to be quadruple. I’ll explain this later, because I’m not up to the writing right now but suffice to say God showed himself strong on my behalf every step of the way. INCREDIBLE!!! The doctors and nurses marvel at my progress. I had one simple word for the them – GOD! There was also another word that I used frequently – PRAYER!

I do not know how people who do not have faith in God make it through these times. I really don’t.

Home recovering beautifully. Thank God and thank you for your prayers!

Blessings

Heart surgery … 120708

I will be away and have been away from blogging for a few days or more. I recently had an angiogram that showed a blockage in a major artery (left aorta), which requires by pass surgery. I’m asking for your prayers both for myself and my family. God is in control. He is so amazing. I see this as a gift from God.  I will been having surgery on Monday Dec 8th , 2008.

My story could have read otherwise. Not too many people have been given the chance I have. As the cardiologist said, “it was good for you to come in when you did. This could have been fatal!” God is good. I’ve been shown his mercy and grace throughout this process. All praise to God! I have the peace of God in all of this.

Keep me in your prayers.