Freedom of Choice Act … 012509

“Sexting” the new porn? … 012309

As we have heard time and time again, it is not the technology that is the issue but the users of these technologies. Some people would read this article and fault the manufacturers for how the phone is being used. They would try to insist that there be some kind of child protection be placed on  cell phones to keep  teens from using them in this way. This is the kind of society we are living in, where its easier to place blame on “others” rather than teaching or insisting that people take responsibility for their own actions.

I know the above sounds like ranting or going off on a tangent however it might not be as far fetched as you would think. Look at the gun industry. The gun makers are blamed for much of what happens with guns. The car industry is blamed for the harm that may occur in accidents hence the need to make changes.

When all this happens, it only drives up the cost of these products.

As it is with any other products parents have a responsibility of teaching and helping their teens make good decisions. I know that as a parent you can do all you can and yet some teens will make bad decisions. However, you as a parent won’t have to live with the guilt because you did all you could to help your child with the decision making process. Let the teens bear whatever the consequences are for their  decision.

Now that I have ranted, let me get back to the topic at hand. These teens who are involved in using their phones for taking videos and pictures of themselves in the nude then sending them by text to their friends are involved in porn. Yes it is teens doing what teens do – doing things without thinking about consequences. But these are the very things people are being charged for – peddling in child porn. This should be made clear to these teens in addition to pointing out the dangers.

This could lead to an acceptance and normalizing of this practice where these same teens as they get older may take this a step farther.  Could this  just be the beginning?

These are just some of my thoughts. What do you think?

virginity on sale … 011909

Going once. Going twice. Going three times. Do I see a hand. Oh, I see a hand for three million dollars. Four million dollars. What about four million dollars. Going once going twice going …

In case you are wondering what it is I’m talking about, then let me update you – the story of Beauty & no brains.

Natalie Dylan (may not be her real name), 22, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks. She claims her offer of a one-night stand has persuaded 10,000 men to bid for sex with her. She better be worth it for whoever is the highest bidder. According to the Telegraph, she has received offers up to the ridiculous amount of approximately $3,000,000.

The ironic thing is that she is doing this to pay for as she alleges, her pursuing a Masters Degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. Is she kidding? A Marriage & Family Therapist!

Her mentor is her 23 year old sister who prostituted herself for 3 weeks to pay for her schooling. Is this a family of prostitutes? Wow, what mentoring.

She already have a degree in Women’s Studies and insists she was not demeaning herself by doing this. This is just a means to an end. In her mind the end justifies the means. Hmmh! She also has made it clear that this is a one-night stand. She does not want a relationship with that person whoever it happens to be. Does she think that she will ever forget that person? She will be leaving a part of her with a total stranger, never to be recovered. By the way, would someone tell me what Women’s Studies is? Is there anything within this area of study that addresses the issue of what it means to be a woman of character and integrity? What about self-esteem?

While she is trying to give her virginity away, there are other women who are trying to regain theirs. According to the Tribune, Muslim women are paying up to $3000.00 to have their hymen repaired. They know the value of being a virgin. This surgery is known as a “hymenoplasty,” a restoration of the hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.

A 23 y/o Muslim student who was having her hymen restored made the following statement:

“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt. Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”

Wow. I wonder what counsel would Natalie as a Marriage & Family Therapist give to this woman or others like her who may present with such struggles.

The irony: one wants to lose it while another wants to regain it!

What Natalie doesn’t seem to be taking in consideration is that she is more than just a physical being. The one-night affair – prostitution, will affect her emotionally, spiritually, mentally and socially. She will forever be known as the girl who sold her virginity. Her reputation will precede her.

Thought: “Who would one day want to become her husband?” I guess there are people who would just for the possibility of a few minutes of fame or infamy. Would you?

Texting – A way of life … 011709

Texting has become a way of life for most teens.  Life would not be life without such.  If you took away the ability to text from a teen who has become entrenched in it, you would have an emotionally disturbed child.  Some teens would think that their life has come to a standstill.  What is life without the ability to text?

I know that I do a reasonable share of texting.  I find it very convenient.  It takes away having to spend a lot of time talking on the phone.  You may just want to say a few words to someone that you know a phone call may take a bit longer because you have to say a bit more on the phone.  Lord help us!  Spending time talking to people building or maintaining social skills is becoming a thing of the past.

Text messaging has its own vocabulary.  Words are abbreviated.  Language is rewritten.  You need to know a new language 2 keep txt msgs short.  It saves on rtn (writing).

No wonder kids are having such a hard time in skl.  They are unable to form sentences, spell correctly, and express themselves properly.  How do we use the technology as a tool to help these kids?  There has to be a way.  Trying to take away the “tool” is not the answer.

There was a recent news of a thirteen year old california girl (Reina Hardesty) who sent 14,528 text messages in one month? OMG!  Her father wasn’t “LOL” when he read last month’s AT&T cell phone bill, which amounted ot 440-page statement. Most of these text messages were sent to her friends who might be sitting one seat away on a bus or a step away at a party.  Is this a sign of laziness or an inability to have face to face conversations?

And you thought your kids were addicted to text messaging. Her dad says that worked out to be about 484 text messages a day, on average. Yes, a day.

Fortunately, the  Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.

The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage.

This indeed has become a way of life.  You wonder how will this affect these teens in later years physiologically.  Unfortunately some will not have live until the later years of life because of text messaging and related accidents.  Automobile accidents are on the increase due to such.  Others are making other mistakes / errors that has or will cost them their lives.   it is a serious situation.  Something needs to be done.  It has to start at home.  Parents, this is where you have to step in and step up.

Hero! Miracle! Expert! … 011609

These are just a few of the words that are being used to describe the crash landing of the US Airways airline on Thursday Jan. 15, 2009. The estimated flight lasted a mere three minutes or so. The coverage have been wall to wall on almost all the stations understandable so. Not everyday does a plane crash lands and all the passengers are able to leave the plane with no major injuries or fatalities.

In the past we have heard such phrases like “where was God in all of this” when something tragic happens. Why aren’t we hearing phrases such as “this is a miracle of God”. Many people blame God for the bad things but they never give him credit for the good things. Why?

We did hear brief statements of people who said that they prayed and heard others praying as the plane was going down. I guess there are no atheist at times like these.

I do believe the captain of the plane ought to be credited for his heroic act no question about it. I also believe the crew and the quick response of the ferry boat captains ought to be heralded as heroism as well. They all did a fabulous job. Kudos to them all.

But for me, I choose to believe that God gave us one more thing to recognize his goodness, mercy, and grace. This is a Sovereign act to remind us that indeed he is still in control. Was this as a response to the prayers of desperate people?

how do you cope? … 010309

As a parent of a 16 y/o I cannot begin to imagine what the Travolta’s are going through with the death of their son Jett Travolta. According to preliminary reports, Jett fell in the bathroom and hit his head against the tub which led to his death.

Every parent watches the growth process of their children and have certain dreams for them as they move from one stage of life to another. Once they get into that magical age of teenage-hood the changes begin to take place in rapid succession. The relationship between parent and child begins to change. You can now have more adult-type conversations. There is a sense of wondering as to what this person may one day become. You see patterns developing which even more solidifies your dreams for your teen.

All of this come to a crashing halt / end when a tragedy like this occurs. How do you recover? Is it possible?

The Travolta’s are now dealing with this. But I’m sure they are not the only one who have lost a teenage son or daughter. However a high profile death like this does bring these discussion to the public square.

How do you cope with tragedies like this? How will the Travolta’s cope? How have you coped with your loss? Loss is loss. However, no parent ever think of burying their children especially this young. Most parents believe that they will be buried by their children.

All losses are painful. As one who have experienced the loss of a younger sister, I know. However, I know it is more painful from a parents perspective. I found that I was only able to cope by relying heavily on the comfort of God through his Holy Spirit. That is where we as a family drew our strength. I don’t know how else can it be possible.

Here is the words of a father who lost his 20 y/o son to melanoma. He quoted from Dean Koontz’a “The Darkest Evening of the Year”.

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.”

Recovery Mode … 010209

I have been out of sync with my blogging for the past few weeks due to vacation and illness. As you know by now, I have had major surgery – open heart and currently in recovery mode.

Trying to recover has taken a toll on me. It has really affected me in more ways than just physical. It has affected me emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually. However I must say that I find myself emerging at different levels in the areas just mentioned. I’m at different stages but the good news is that it is moving in the right direction. One of the things that has been mentioned is that people who have had similar surgery, can possibly become depressed. I could see how that could be possible. Thank God I didn’t find myself in that category.

As the new year begins, I want to think that many of us are into recovery mode. We want to recover some of the things that we may have had taken away from us or lost through our own misuse, abuse, or sheer neglect. I’m referring mainly to relationships. I must admit that some relationships are unrecoverable. They just can’t be recovered / restored. However, there are many that can.

The question is, what have you put in place or planning to recover those relationships? Maybe it is simply offering or requesting forgiveness. Maybe it is making a decision to change something about yourself that may have led to the breakdown in that relationship. Doing an introspection is always a positive thing. It takes the finger pointing at least temporarily off another and place it on self.

I don’t know what your resolution is for ‘09, but can I suggest you take a close look at those relationship that has been broken in ‘08 to see if they are recoverable. Don’t just take the attitude that it is not. Take a second, third, or even a fourth look. It is worth it. Let’s get in that recoverable mode at least for the first part of ‘09.