Urban Youth Workers Conference … 092908

Make plans to attend this coming weekend (Oct. 4th, 2008) if you are a teen leader, youth mentor, worker, leader, youth pastor, or just someone who wants to know more about youth ministry. This is designed to be a one of a kind workshop. I will be teaching a workshop and so will other well qualified and experienced veterans of youth ministry.

You can check out the line up and get more info at: http://uywi.org/334212.ihtml

Its in Miami, Florida.

Fireproof ratings … 092908

The results are in! Fireproof did extraordinarily well considering it was shown on only a 1/3 of the number of theaters the other movies did. It came in 4th place. Not bad for a low budgeting movie competing against the other Hollywood giants, which had more known actors /actresses playing major roles.

Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theaters, according to Media By Numbers LLC. Final figures will be released Monday Sept 29th.
1. “Eagle Eye,” $29.2 million.
2. “Nights in Rodanthe,” $13.6 million.
3. “Lakeview Terrace,” $7 million.
4. “Fireproof,” $6.5 million.
5. “Burn After Reading,” $6.2 million.
6. “Igor,” $5.5 million.
7. “Righteous Kill,” $3.803 million.
8. “My Best Friend’s Girl,” $3.8 million.
9. “Miracle at St. Anna,” $3.5 million.
10. “Tyler Perry’s the Family That Preys,” $3.2 million.

Here is what one of the sites that tracks movie performance said about Fireproof:

“… But the real surprise on the charts was in the number four position … Coming from seemingly out of nowhere and debuting in fourth place was the Kirk Cameron drama Fireproof. The film, which tells the story of a firefighter who must find a way to save his marriage, brought in an estimated $6.5M from only 839 screens for a strong average of $7,764, second highest in the top ten. The film has been heavily promoted to Christian groups and proves once again that religious-themed films can bring in an audience.”

For you to realize how well this movie did, you need to know it was only shown on only 839 screens across the country whereas the other movies were shown on over 2000 screens. What would have happened if it was shown on as many theaters as the other movies?

Not only was this a low-budgeted movie using only one camera to do all the taping, but it had locals doing acting parts. Big props to Fireproof. The “David” overpowered the “Goliaths”! This is what happens when God is put first. This is a God-thing! Try putting God first and see what happens. Put him first in your family, business, home, life, relationships, marriage, finances, and other areas. He will come through for you even in this economy.

See for yourself. Go see the movie!

Check out the website: http://fireproofmymarriage.com/

Check out my website: http://helpingfamiliesimprove.com/Site/Home.html

Fireproof – go see it! … 092708

If there is one movie that couples or anyone in a relationship ought to see, this is it. It is geared primarily to marriage, however the principles found within the movie, can be transported to other relationships.

There are a number of trailers that can be seen on you tube that will give you a taste of what is to come. I would encourage you to go and see it and pass the word on to others to give it a shot. It will be worth your time and $$$.

I haven’t seen the movie yet. I’m planning to go and see it on Saturday Sept. 27th. It opens Friday Sept 26th across the country.

I will give you some feedback as to my thoughts after seeing it. If you have gone to see it, I too would like to hear some of your thoughts.

Check out the clip …

Adoption title unnecessary … 092308

Mavis & Mom - Blackcelebritykids.com

I recently posted this response to a “blurp” I read about mother and daughter that was posted at blackcelebritieskids.com blog page. What led to this response is that the person writing made this statement about this family picture. The mom’s name is Alfre who played a role in Tyler Perry’s new movie, “the family that preys”.

Here is what was said:

“Actress Alfre Woodard,whose recent role is in film A Family That Preys,is pictured with her daughter Mavis at the 60th Annual Primetime Awards on September 21, 2008.Mavis Spencer (born 1992) is Alfre’s adopted daughter.” (blackcelebritykids.com)

Here is my response:

The first thing or should i say the second thing that stood out to me as i read the blurp about Alfre and her daughter Mavis, are:
1. she is a beautiful young lady; no question about that
2. she is adopted.

The second (she is adopted) somehow for me, takes the air out of the balloon. Why is that important to mention? how relative is that? I’m not adopted or have adopted children so i’m not sensitive to this from the standpoint of personal experience.

however, i think of all those who are adopted even in this case Mavis, and wonder what must it be like for them to have the word “adopted” added to who they are. why couldn’t it be left at Alfre and her daughter Mavis? Do we say “this is my biological daughter / son so and so?” No, we just say, “this is my son / daughter”.

let’s be more sensitive to issues like these. i take issues with stuff like this as you can see and hear.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with me? Why?

Teen suspended because of his Obama shirt … 092408

Eleven year old Daxx Dalton was suspended from school for wearing an anti-Obama shirt on a day when the school encouraged students to wear red, white, and blue colors of their choice. Daxx chose to wear a home-made shirt. According to the article, Daxx was given the choice of turning his shirt inside out, change his shirt, or face suspension. He chose suspension. His reason was that he felt that was his 1st Amendment right to expression. Here’s what Daxx said:

“They’re taking away my right of freedom of speech,” he says. “If I have the right to wear this shirt I’m going to use it. And if the only way to use it is get suspended, then I’m going to get suspended.”

Do you agree with the school? Do you agree with the student?  Is this a rights issue?

What if that shirt had to do with President Bush or John McCain, do you think it would be an issue? What if it had to do with Christianity or another religious faith? What if it had to do with Osama Bin Laden?

The father of the boy supports his son’s decision and is willing to take it to court to sue the school over the suspension. I believe he will and should win. I think that the school should have laid out the ground rules as to what the students could or could not wear. What was permissable and what wasn’t. Asking them to wear something red, white, and blue leaves open one’s own interpretation.

I want a baby … 092208

I recently was held captive by a program on tv about teen girls who want to become pregnant. I could hardly believe what I was hearing and seeing. I was shocked. I am not shocked by a lot of things, but this did. I’m not sure if shock really describe what I was feeling. I would also say I felt pity for them.

The question that comes to my mind as I’m sure to yours and countless numbers of people who may have watched the program is why? What would be the driving force behind a teen girl wanting to have a baby? Is it loneliness? Is it a sense of pride? Is it for attachment purpose? Is it for love? Is it for identity? I’m not sure I know why. No amount of explanation would be sufficient for me to say “I understand”. Would you?

The sad part is most of these teens could not articulate clearly why they wanted a baby. This I’m not surprised by because they are “babies” themselves. One of the girls who was 15 or 16 y/o has had two abortions already and one miscarriage. She was talking about wanting a baby and is trying to become pregnant. She was so casual about sex, abortion, and the miscarriage as if it was nothing. She now wants to have a baby. Hello! Does she know that she may never be able to? Another had just turned 13 and was five months pregnant. Tyra asked her about what she had to say and she thought it was so cute to say she was pregnant.

These children (babies) don’t even have a clue about being a parent. One parent was so shocked to find out her daughter had had sex with three separate guys already and wanted to become pregnant. She said that it “ain’t gonna happen”. The question Tyra asked and I had in mind to ask is, how can you as a parent stop her. There is no way to do that. It has to be from within.

I think these girls are missing something in their lives. They think that having a baby will take care of that. One girl said that this will keep her boyfriend forever. Really! Well what does she know?

My response is that these girls are looking to fill a void in their lives. What is that void? I believe it is a spiritual void. The emotional seems to be addressed. The physical obviously is being addressed. The mental and social is being addressed. The only thing that is left is the spiritual. This would give them a sense of identity. They would know that they are loved unconditionally. So, I would say they need someone who can explain for them what it means to have a personal relationship with God. This they should pursue.

This doesn’t change things overnight, but with teaching about respect for oneself, love, and acceptance I believe their thoughts could be changed.

What do you think?

Phone Contract with teen / tween … 091808

PHONE CONTRACT: (just some suggestions … adjust as necessary)

The following rules will apply to (my child) and his/her phone usage:
_________No Phone calls after 9pm (M-F), 10pm (Sat & Sun) unless they are to Mom and Dad, or have been pre-approved.
_________No Cell Phone usage during meal times at home or away from home unless pre-approved.
_________ No Internet access.
_________If asked to turn off, stop playing with, or to conclude call, you must do so immediately.
________When away from home, you will always have cell phone in the on position so mom and dad can reach you if needed.

The following consequences will apply to (my child) and his/her phone usage:
________ You will be responsible to pay for any charges incurred over the agreed upon plan,. If you are not receiving an allowance then the phone will be taken away for an agreed upon time (1 – 2 weeks, etc)
________If there is a repeat in excess charges, then the above will apply as well as a curfew given as to phone use at home during the week and weekend for an agreed upon time frame (1 – 2 weeks, etc)
_________If you do not turn off, stop playing with, or conclude a call when asked to do so the first time, you will lose your phone privileges while at home during for 2 days in succession. If this happens more than once during the week, then this will also apply to the weekend of that same week.
________If all rules are followed as outlined above for one month, then you will gain half an hour on your phone privileges. This is a privilege, which can be temporarily removed upon the discretion of mom or dad.
________This contract will be reevaluated every six months make any necessary adjustments to the rules and / or consequences..

Signed (teen): __________________________________________
Signed (parent) _________________________________________

Date: ___________________

Feeling naked without it … 091808

That’s the feeling that one 17 y/o has when she leaves home without her cell phone. A recent survey found that more than 80 percent of teens has access or own a cell phone. Teens view having a cell phone as cool but most importantly, it becomes their connection to maintaining a social life. There are some important features that a phone must have. The most important feature is texting. Most of the teens who were a part of this survey said that they used text messages as often or more often than speaking on the phone.

There are a lot of implications with this technology revolution. One of which is the abusive issue. I believe most teens have lost what it means to have face to face social interaction because of this revolution, which includes the internet. They do not have much skills in the art of interpreting body languages associated with certain language tone and phrases. As most of us are aware, much “evil” deeds are done because of these technological advances and availability that would not have occurred without it or to the extent at which it does.

I guess this is one of the risks that come with new technology. We do not want to at any point discourage or stifle such progress. We need more of it. I think what we need is more enforcement of current policies in regard to cell phone usage as well as parents playing a more governing role on their teens cell phone usage such as when, where, and how.

Look for next entry on how parents could become more involved in their teens lives as it relates to cell phone usage.

Boxers goes to court … 091708

As I suspected and had discussed in one of my previous blogs, a Riviera Beach judge has ruled that arresting someone for having their boxers exposed in public, is unconstitutional. I knew it would only be a matter of time before this law would be challenged. I thought that it would be difficult to press charges without the constitutionality of it being challenged. Obscenity is one of the hardest to prosecute because of the interpretation and definition.

Julius Hart, a 17 y/o, was seen riding his bicycle with his boxers exposed. He was pulled over by a cop and arrested. He spent the night in jail for an unrelated charged. Under the law, he could be fined $150 for the 1st offense. The defense attorney cited this as clothes policing. He also cited the fact that people walking around in speedos were not arrested for such exposure. He does have a point. Wouldn’t you agree?

The question that has to be answered is, when does exposure becomes indecent, immoral, or sexual arousing to others within the community. Is this a reason for banning such attire? Is this an infringement upon someone else’s rights?

What do they have in common? … 091508

The Jonas Brothers. Selena Gomez. Miley Cyrus. Jordin Sparks. They all wear a promise ring. Is this just a fad? When we hear this what do we hear? One thing that I have read is that these guys and others who I might not know of, have made a decision that they would remain virgins until marriage. Jordin Sparks’ & Selena Gomez’s ring says “True Love Waits”.

Is this a sign that teens are being encouraged to celebrate virginity as something positive? Something to be proud of and not made to feel that if you are not having sex, something is wrong with you. This also will make the point that not everyone is having sex especially among the celeb type.

My only fear is that this resurgence of the promise ring idea does not become a fad or something that is just a fashionable idea. Why would someone wear a promise ring? It is simply a symbolic way of to remind them that they are making a promise to themselves, their family, their future mate, their future children, and to God that they will remain sexually pure until marriage. This is a.k.a purity pledge.

Sparks attributes her decision to wear the ring to her religious faith, she said “what’s great about the world we live in is everybody can make their own choice”. Faith is a very important combination. Here is where conviction governs such behavior and where a person can draw strength. Faith gives them a purpose for such decision – a decision to honor God.

Thank God for these teen celebrities who are promoting such a healthy lifestyle. A few things they don’t have to worry about pregnancy, acquiring an STD, and giving something special away to someone other than a lifetime partner. This decision also gives them an opportunity to focus on getting to know a partner for who they are without the distraction of sexual relationships.

Now that purity / promise rings are in the spotlight once again, I do hope it continues and that teens will revolt against the long held notions that they are going to have sex so give them the “tools” to do so. What an insult! What we expect, we get. So why not expect better from our teens.

I hope that what the above mentioned celebs have in common will become infectious to teens across the nation so they all have it in common. This will surely cut down on teen pregnancy, STD’s, and a whole host of other complex problems that teens faces as a result of premarital sex.  What if Bristol Palin had made such a promise to herself and had sealed it by wearing a promise ring? Would this have made a difference?